Supergirl's Journal
by Kara-Anne.Laurel
Summary: In the wake of Myriad, Supergirl is still recovering at the DEO. No citizens know she is safe. Before she went, she decided to tell a special person everything, just in case she died.
1. Chapter 1

Adam Foster walked around his apartment. Supergirl had just carried Fort Roz into space, sacrificing her life. The brunette in media went out to his balcony, distraught. Sitting down on the lounge chair, he noticed a hole in the solid concrete. Curious, Adam looked closer. Thrust into the floor was a leather journal.

It was slightly wet, evidence to support that it had been there for a while, at least four hours (the last rain). Some of the pages were missing, but it had beautiful handwriting scrawled on the parchment pages. Adam opened to the first page and began to read.

 _February 4, 2007_

 _My foster mom gifted me with this notebook to write down what I please. On Krypton, my mother used to write down her experiences as a young girl to share with her future daughter, me. My foster sister suggested to use it to write notes. I will use it as both. In the event that I am about to do something extremely dangerous in the future, or my secret is revealed, I will bestow this journal to someone I care about. If you are reading this, you have been chosen, or have stolen this. If is it the latter, put it down or I will force you back into the hole you crawled out of._

 _School today was awful. My sister had to stay home sick and I went without her. I was shoved into my locker and had to stay there until lunch. I easily could have gotten out, but I had to stay put, keeping my secret. I was at the pick up line when my foster mom came to pick me up. She recognized my mood so we enjoyed ice cream at Barney's. I felt so much better; earth food in general (besides broccoli) tends to do that for me._

 _At home, I walked along the beach. I could hear cries of help coming from in town, even with the glasses my foster dad made me on. I was desperate to help; it was only an office fire, after all. As a fourteen year old, new to earth, I stayed put. The fire department answered the call, saving almost everyone. I could have saved everyone. I will remember their cries forever._

 _As I lay awake in bed, I think of Krypton. It was such a beautiful place, the red sun overhead, the red rocks outside the city. I miss it so much. Some days I cry myself to sleep, remembering my family. Kal El left me here and left me. I miss him so. He may not be a baby now, but I held him as a one. He was so small, so cute, so innocent. It is my hope that someday I can be just like him: strong, brave, loving, powerful._

Shocked, Adam closed the journal. 'This was Supergirl's journal!' He thought. 'Why is it here? Where is she? Maybe it says in the book. I have to keep reading.'

 _March 6, 2008_

 _Today, I failed a test in school. I know all the answers; it was just so hard because of the pencil tapping, the talking down the block, and the view of everyone's skeleton. Lead only helps so much, but I wear them for Jeremiah now._

 _He died in a plane crash two days ago. My family is still grieving. I did not know him very long, but he welcomed me and loved me as his own from the moment Kal left me here. If I had never flown, he would still be alive. It is all my fault. I swear to Rao, I will protect my family, no matter what it takes. If it is a Kryptonite bullet, I will allow myself to be hit rather than anyone else. I could have saved Jeremiah, if I weren't stuck here playing human. No one at school likes me anyways. I am always called the 'Weird New Girl' and other names. My earth sister tells me to just ignore them, but I cannot. I cannot fight back; I cannot protect her from the bullying that comes to her because of me. She punched a kid, because I could not._

Adam sat back, looking up at the sky for National City's hero. Here he was, reading this journal like he had a right to. Surely Supergirl left it here for him, right? It was on the balcony of his apartment, his balcony, in a hole that was not there before. On the other hand, it was clearly an older book. The moist peeling pages were not a new reading and there were scorch marks on some of the pages. Ever curious, Adam continued to read.

 _July 12, 2009_

 _I have not written in a while, it is the fourth anniversary of my arrival on earth and in two days, I will be leaving high school for bigger things. My foster mother helped me apply to a college nearby, and I was accepted. I am excited to leave, and I hope it will not be like high school._

 _In happier news, an earth boy asked me to go steady with me. On Krypton, he would have needed to ask my father for permission, but there is no tradition like that here for courtship. Before our first date, my earth sister opened the door and spoke softly to him, but I still heard her threaten him. Before I even got down the stairs, he was speeding down the road in his truck. So much for a love life._

 _I do not know why I had hoped to have a romance on earth. I cannot be with a human; the only ones I have hugged are Kal, his human girlfriend (Lois), my foster sister, and my foster mother. Sometimes, I wish things were different, but they cannot be._

 _Lois is like a big sister to me, not as great as Alex, but still like a sister. She and Kal will likely get married. Living in Metropolis, Lois and Kal spend so much time together. Just yesterday, he told her that he is Clark and Superman. She had been seeing him at work and on rooftops. I found it hilarious; she did not._

 _Their relationship gives me hope. Hope that someday, I will find romantic love. Both sets of my parents had it, and their parents before them. As much as I would love that, it is so dangerous. Lois and her son have been hurt and kidnapped so many times by those hoping to get a hit in on Superman. Luckily, Jason has some of his father's abilities to save the two. I know I could never have a child, even if I were to have a husband._

Adam's heart broke. He had no idea how difficult Supergirl's human lifestyle was for her. Completely enthralled, the boy kept reading.

 _May 27, 2014_

 _I am sorry I have not written recently, I guess journal keeping is not easy when you are an undercover alien. I just graduated and I was hired to be a personal assistant. College on scholarship was amazing and meant I could put my wages to an apartment of my own._

 _It turns out my powers come in handy. I was able to get the job by using them. I told her the pen was out of ink, discovered by my x-ray vision. I can heat my boss' coffee with my heat vision and get anywhere within minutes for her. I am remaining more human than Kryptonian for a while. I do not ever plan on being like my cousin. The world already has Superman; why would they need me? Would I be Superwoman? I have seen Clark's life, chaos and lies. He cannot catch a break. Right now, the world needs me to blend in._

Supergirl ripped the next page out, probably, but Adam was still captivated by this window into Supergirl's private life. He could not fathom that she had chosen him to gift with this journal as he continued to read.

 _October 25, 2015_

 _Today, I signed up for a dating website. Not as a Kryptonian, of course, but using my human identity. My sister finally coaxed me into it. Within a minute, I had an invitation to a bar in National from a guy. I was conflicted, but elected to go met him tomorrow night. Alex and I watched Homeland and ate pizza for the remainder of the evening._

 _Sorry there is not much to write, it was Saturday and I rarely do much on Saturdays._

Adam smiled, thinking about how normal Supergirl seemed. It was hard not to love her from this depiction of her. She seemed so normal, like a traumatized child who was slightly geeky and not accepted by her peers.

 _October 26, 2015_

 _Today, I went to work like any normal day. I carried my boss's coffee into the office and smiled at my best friend. He came over, smiling. He asked me to go to a movie later, and I did not know it at the time, but he was asking me out on a date. I said I was going on a date and may have crushed his spirits for the rest of the day._

 _I stood by my desk, listening for the shrill sound of my boss' voice. Pretty soon I heard her coming up in her elevator and alerted him. He once again questioned how I do that and I just smiled. The day was not a bad one._

 _My boss asked me to go get layouts from the new art director, so I complied. I found he was my cousin's best friend and a Pulitzer winning photographer. What are the odds, right?_

 _While he worked, I found a photograph of my cousin as Superman. I smiled and the man said it was to be mine. It went on my wall as soon as I got home. I called my foster sister for dating tips and she helped me chose an outfit. I wound up wearing a tan coat and all black ensemble. Alex got on her flight to Geneva and I had to go meet this guy at a club in town._

 _I never felt like we were connecting, seems he did not either. A fake phone call was all it took for him to leave and ask the waitress for her number. I did not have much time to be bitter as a television in the room alerted me to a plane dealing with difficulties. I recognized it as the flight my sister was on. I ran out of the restaurant, ready to do anything to protect her. In an alley, I managed to take flight and flew towards the plane. I caught it and landed it. Tired, I flew to my apartment. I was overjoyed when I saw the news reporting on a 'mysterious flying woman.' Unfortunately, my human sister was not so happy. She was mad, without proper reason. I was disappointed, thinking my family did not believe in me._

Adam leaned back in his chair. He did not even notice his mother coming in the door of his apartment and the young man continued to read.

 _January 29, 2016_

 _Today, I sent a letter to the son of my boss. She had written so many, yet refused to send one. As nice as she is, I decided she needed happiness with her family. He called her today. The two are going to meet in a few days._

 _I was called into my boss' office. She was furious and yelled at me, but I know how happy this will make her. I can take her yelling, it makes me mad, of course, but flying helps me release some anger._

 __Adam laughed, thinking about how his mom can drive people crazy as Supergirl described. He had not connected the dots that Supergirl and Kara Danvers are the same person.

 _January 31, 2016_

 _I woke up late this morning and dragged Alex to the coffee shop with me. As we waited for the coffee orders, I met a human male. He said my boss could be a pain, so I defended her. He was so cute._

 _At the office, I saw the young man again. Apparently, he was her son. The two decided to meet for dinner that night and I was so happy they were attempting to connect. He asked me out before leaving and I was conflicted. It could not last, but I really like him. If I want someone to be my Lois, it will be him. Well, you know what I mean._

 _February 2, 2016_

 _Yesterday, I went on my date with the brunette. He is so sweet and I feel bad for lying to him. I like him so much and, unlike my last date, I was enjoying myself when I had to leave on Supergirl business._

 _Today, we tried again. It was getting dark as we walked back. Maxwell Lord decided to have his minion attack me as a human and I was forced to fight her. I did not kill Bizzaro; I never had any intention to. The whole incident brought all my fears back into the light. Since Maxwell Lord knew my human identity, no one I love would ever be safe from him._

 _I flew to his mom's building and changed quickly. He was inside and I had to leave him. He deserved better, someone who could be honest, someone who did not put him in danger with every hug. And so I broke up with him._

 _As I lay in bed and cry, I know I can never love him. I still do though. He makes my heart fly without the rest of me. Each time he smiles I want to smile, too. He is just that kind of guy._

Adam smiled, feeling as though he knew Supergirl as his mother cooked in his apartment. He still had no idea she was at his house.

 _April 17, 2016_

 _Today, I fought against my uncle and my sister. Non is evil. Astra I had hope for, but I know Non will never change. His cohort brainwashed my sister and attempted to make her kill me. I would not, I could not kill her. We faced off until she was saved from Indigo's mental grasp._

 _It was heart breaking to fight Alex. It was as though we were teens again, fighting again. We had gotten past that part of our lives and I fear we may never get past this. I know what it is like to watch your family members almost die, but to be the one whose body is used, terrorizing._

 _I realized today whom I want to give this notebook to. If I die today, fighting for Earth, I want you to know one thing, Adam Foster. I have been close to you. Quite close. I feel it is only right that you know who I am._

 _My secret identity is…_

Adam's heart skipped a beat. In plain and simple pen ink, the name that would reveal so much was scribbled over. The use of the pen was rushed, not by Supergirl. It was probably by Alex or someone else close to the hero.

The young man had not forgotten about the notebook, but placed it back in the hole before walking inside to meet his mother.


	2. Chapter 2

"Hey, Mom." He greeted, sitting down at the table with Cat. She had just called him in for dinner. She sat at the table, the food in front of her. The older woman looked quite distraught and smiled weakly at the son.

"Hi." She responded, not looking up. "Mom?" He asked as a tear slid down her cheek. "I think she is gone. She is gone. She died for us all." The blonde woman was unfocused and spoke quietly. "Who is gone?" He asked, concerned. "Supergirl and it is all my fault." Cat broke down, crying as the pasta she had made sat untouched on the table. "I told her to save the world. I encouraged her. She is gone, because of me." Adam put his hand on her back to soothe her. "It is much harder to kill Supergirl than that." At her son's words, the woman relaxed and took a scoop of pasta.

Adam sat at the table with his mother, deep in thought. He was unable to put the journal out of his mind. He felt as though he knew the woman but had no idea who she was. As soon as his mother went to bed in his guest room, he snuck back onto the balcony to read more.

 _October 31, 2008_

 _Today was the human festival of Halloween. I dressed up as a ghost while my sister was a cat. I wanted to hover, make myself more ghostly, but this idea worried everyone._

 _On another note, I had to fix my glasses, again, today. A taller girl was in front of my locker and I asked her to move. She then teased me and took my glasses; the sounds and sights without them overwhelmed me. The bully broke my glasses until my sister came, punching the girl from behind. My foster mother helped me fix them and I was able to calm down._

 _As I lay in bed, I wonder if I can ever be like my cousin. Kal is so bold and brave. He saves people left and right while getting the girl. I want to get the guy and be myself. Seems like that is too much for Rao to bless me with. I am not complaining, though. I have a family and am safe._

Adam smiled. Still desperate to find out who Supergirl really was, he made a list.

Supergirl

Adopted

Cousin's name is Clark/Kal

Clark/Kal is dating Lois

Lois interviews Superman

Dirty blonde hair

About 5' 8"

Blue eyes

Wears glasses

Deceased father: Jeremiah

Smiles a lot

Female boss

Picked on as a child

Came out of nowhere as a 13/14 year old

Friend (?): Alex

Joined dating website: October 25. 2015

Works with Pulitzer winning photographer

Won Pulitzer from photo of Superman

Dated son of boss after sending letter to him

Met him at coffee shop before

Dated February 2-3, 2016

Was taken by Bizzaro on date

Desperate, he walked inside, journal and list in hand, and saw his mother awake. She stood in the kitchen, making a cup of tea.

"Adam?" She asked, believing he was asleep. "What are you doing awake?" He bowed his head. "I could ask you the same. I am…um…trying to find out who Supergirl is. Would you like to help, Miss Reporter?" He joked. "Yes, sure. What do you have so far?" She sat down on the couch, motioning for him to do the same. "Well, I found this journal, she left it for me, I think." Adam showed his mom the list. She paused for a moment before speaking.

"Is this Lois Lane? Daily Planet, Lois Lane?" She asked, incredulously.

"Probably. She interviews Superman. Clark? He works with Lois. What if we check the news paper?" He proposed, his mother gleaming with pride as she pulled the Daily Planet up on her laptop.

"Maybe Clark Kent? He is the only Clark I see on the list. If you give me a second, I will check Lois' Facebook." Cat bit her tongue, focusing. "Yeah. Clark Kent is Superman." Adam laughed.

"Okay. We know she wears glasses given to her by her adoptive father, Jeremiah; who is now deceased." He recalled.

"Okay. That does not really narrow it down. What is the next one?" He blushed.

"She smiles a lot, and has a female boss." Cat nodded, half awake. Her reporting skills were not topnotch due to lack of sleep.

"That narrows it way down." She commented, sarcastically.

"Well, she appeared as a 13/14 year old; which does not really help us. She joined a dating website on October 25, 2015. That helps, right?"

"Not really." Cat admitted.

"Okay, my last six points are that she works with Pulitzer winning photographer who won Pulitzer from photo of Superman. Supergirl dated son of boss after sending letter to him and meeting him at coffee shop before officially meeting him. The two then dated February 2-3, 2016. On February 3, she was kidnapped by Bizzaro while on a date." Cat's eyes opened to be as wide as the moon.

"Adam! Jimmy Olson won a Pulitzer for a photo of Superman. He works for me. You are my son. Kara sent you the letter. Kara dated you. Kara was snatched on a date with you. Kara Danvers is Supergirl." Adam sat back in the couch, confused and hurt. Cat sat, mirroring his expression, dazed. Her assistant was Supergirl. She yells at Supergirl on a daily basis. The two feel asleep on the couch when the headline of 'Supergirl is Safe' swept the TV.

"Mom!" Adam shook her awake. "Kara is safe. She is back." He nearly fainted with relief.

"Oh, good." Cat sat up, now wide-awake. "Adam, we cannot allow her to know we know. She is Supergirl. Please put the journal back and do not touch this again. We owe her that." He nodded, moving to complete her commands before making breakfast.


	3. Chapter 3

Kara, still slightly dazed, was enjoying a night at home with her family. Myriad was over, everyone was safe. The criminals were still recovering from the mind control and the heroes had a free moment. Winn, Alex, Eliza, James, and Hank were with her. The brunette was happy, for a rare moment. Unfortunately, nothing is ever that simple. Supergirl was soon needed as a space ship came down to the earth. She flew into action, forgetting about the notebook.

Across town, Adam and his mother were enjoying a quieter night in until the doorbell rang. "I got it!" Adam announced before opening the door. "Carter?" He asked, in disbelief. The shorter boy looked up guiltily. "Yeah, Dad had to go somewhere without me, so he dropped me off at Mom's. She wasn't there, and I figured she must be here." Adam ushered his half-brother inside. "Yeah, she is here. Would you like some pasta or something?" Carter eagerly accepted the food as Cat came back to the main room. It was about two in the am, and the older woman was not expecting to see her son.

"Carter?" She asked.

"Yeah, Mom?" He responded, mouth full.

"Okay, then. What's up?"

"Did you see Supergirl? She saved the world. Her speech was amazing."

"I saw. She is a hero." Cat said, tears in her eyes.

"You know something I don't. What is it?" Carter asked, eyeing his mother.

"Nothing, just that she is a hero."

"No, Mom. You know something, please? Tell me!"

"How did you get so smart and so curious?" Cat joked.

"I learned from the best. Now, tell me!" The boy demanded, his mother laughing.

"Fine. Supergirl flew by the building, making sure everyone was safe." Cat lied.

"Cool!" The boy cleared his dishes before running to the balcony door.

"Where are you going?" Cat asked, motherly instincts kicking in.

"Outside, I'm going to wait for Supergirl to come back." He smiled and waved.

The teen soon found the outside air was a tad chilly, but he was determined. Carter sat on the chaise, cross-legged. Cat laughed inside, helping Adam clear the table and clean. "He's determined, Cat." Adam laughed. "That is what I'm worried about." She replied.


	4. Chapter 4

The heroine was occupied, forgetting about the journal. Adam, on the other hand, could not forget. His mind was still consumed by ideas, desperate to get back the girl he loved. The man allowed a very light sleep to overcome him, but for the heroine, sleep just wouldn't come.

Everytime she began to lose consciousness, a twang in the back of her head reminded her of something she had to do. After hours of trying to remember, sleep finally took the blonde, dragging her off to a land of dreams.

For Kara, dreams were often filled of Krypton, Alex, or Adam. Tonight, a dream came, echoing through her subconscious, as if to remind her. The dream was set on Krypton, the beautiful Argo skyline out the windows.

It was Kara's eighteenth birthday, on Krypton. The day was never actually celebrated, but it was a wonderful thought. On Krypton, when a girl turns eighteen, she is paired with a mate of her family's choosing. In this particular fantasy, Astra was presenting a boy, barely older than she, to the council. Kara stood proudly beside him, a proper distance between them, of course.

" _The council approves your choice for a mate., genetically speaking. Before the young man can officially become a husband, we must see that the two have an emotional bond."_

 _Astra led her niece close to the boy before stepping back. Slowly, the two began the bond testing ritual. Kara stood, hand in hand with the teen. A blush soon began to crawl up onto her cheeks, a good sign. Her legs began to feel numb, getting lost in his brown eyes._

" _The two appear to be proper mates for one another. Session closed. By the power of the council, I pronounce you a couple."_

Across town, the Adam tossed and turned in his bed. Cat was down the hall, Carter still on the balcony. The journal was his heart beneath the floorboards, drawing him out, forcing him to come clean. Adam was curious, but felt guilty for invading his ex's privacy. Eventually, his curiosity won and the man crept back to the balcony.

"Adam?" Carter reacted, sitting on something he had had in his hand.

"Hi, Carter."

"What are you doing?" The boy cringed.

"I… Nothing."

"And what are you sitting on?" Knowing defeat, Carter stood, handing the journal to Adam.

"I kind of found this out here. I read it, and you probably should, too. The book was Supergirl's!"


	5. Chapter 5

Note: Hey, guys. Sorry I haven't written in a while. I've been adjusting and it was hectic for a while. That said, it has been two years. I write differently now, so if it's weird and too far from what I wrote before, I'm sorry (about the length, too). I hope you enjoy! :) - Kara-Anne Laurel

"What do you mean? What did you read?" Adam's heart raced in his chest. He could have laughed if he didn't care so much. Carter blinked, obviously confused by his brother's reaction.

"The journal belonged to Supergirl. She wrote in it!"

"How much did you read?" Carter's excitement rapidly faded and he sighed like a dejected toddler.

"Not enough. I just read about her working for the government. It's where the book fell open when I picked it up." Adam sighed.

"I'll read it, on one condition: you don't mention this to anyone, not even mom. Supergirl is alive. Anything this journal says could hurt mom, or you. It could hurt Supergirl, too." Carter nodded.

"I haven't told anyone yet," The young man pointed out as he walked inside the penthouse. Adam's jaw dropped and he laughed. Of course the super genius could figure out Supergirl's identity.

 _December 24, 2011_

 _I haven't seen Alex in ages. She blew up at me; told me she didn't want me as a sister if it meant her father was still here. Eliza yelled at her, but it made no difference. She was drunk. She's always drunk._

 _Her heart still beats. I know that much. I can hear it. I don't listen in; I'm afraid what I may hear. But I hear her heartbeat and I know I'll get my sister back. That's what Christmas is about, right? It's for knowing we love each other and making wishes and family. I miss Krypton, but -_

"I suppose you've read it then." Adam snaps his head up and stands, dropping the journal in the process. The speaker grabbed it midair before it could hit the floor.

"Some of it."

"And?"

"I'm glad you didn't die." She smiled, her pink lips parting to show the teeth behind. The bruise on her jaw looked like it hurt, but she ignored it.

"I'd have a lot of explaining to do - "

"This is why." She looked up, meeting his eyes for the first time this conversation.

"What?"

"This is why you left me. Because of who you are." She nodded and he sighed, wrapping his arms around her. "I love you. I haven't stopped. This changes nothing." She laughed.

"This changes everything."


End file.
